Joy

Most anyone who ever looks here knows where to find me, but here is where I'm now updating on life, the baby, and other random stuff:
www.seekingjoy.wordpress.com

I'm eagerly anticipating May, when my new little bundle arrives. Yay for little girls!

Maybe Someday...

I posted one of these a long time ago, but re-read it today and thought it fitting to do it again. So...maybe someday...

• I'll learn to keep my mouth shut and open at just the right time.
• I'll love chores, cooking, and cleaning.
• I'll learn Spanish (seriously? Isn't this on the list every time...)
• Unconditional love will come easy
• I'll remember that God is God, and I'm just me. And He likes me that way.
• I'll have a day without nausea, and a beautiful, healthy child...and maybe I'll even be half the mother that my mom is to me.

Thank you, State of CA

I just talked to my HR manager (confidentially, since I haven't told everyone at work yet) about maternity leave, and to my surprise, this is going to be better than I thought.

I have no idea if this kind of thing is what got our good old state of CA in a bind financially, and I'm not up to debating as I have no real interest in discussing that fact. However, I'm certain there are some that take advantage of it, because the information I gather this morning on pregnancy being a "disability" seems as if it could be somewhat lucrative. I am not considering taking advantage without a necessity, but it was actually pretty calming knowing that if something catastrophic happens and I'm layed up for a bunch of time because of this "condition", I'm actually going to be fairly well taken care of. So, phew. One thing down, and I'm sure a million to go.

New News

So, I’m pregnant. For all…well...zero at this point, since I don’t update…readers of this blog, that should be news. Tomorrow is my first appointment, which would be at nine weeks, I believe. And so the journey begins…

Didn’t know that this turn of events would be what got me blogging again, but it is. I just feel like perhaps I’d like to look back and remember the experience. And by experience, so far I mean the fact that an alien has come to reside in my body and take it over, thereby making me feel like I have the flu on a daily basis.

The topper was my mom. I mean, she is super happy, which is great. But the first words out of her mouth when I told her about the constant state of sickness I am experiencing, were, 'oh no, that's a shame. I wasn't sick a day with you'. Jeesh. A little deflating to say the least when I've spent the last 5 weeks choking back dry heaves at work every single day.

I'm kind of hoping that right at 12 weeks, my body is going to decide that it loves being pregnant. I'm also hoping that right around that same time, I become super creative with crafts and love to cook and clean. OK, so I'll settle for not puking on my boss's desk and being tolerant of my ever expanding body. A girl can dream though.

Anyways, please stay tuned (hopefully) for more updates on a regular basis.

Bad Habits

I have a new bad habit, people. And it's called internet TV.

Maybe I'm being punished for being too self-righteous about cancelling cable. Or maybe being married does this to you.

Either way, I'm hooked. On Biggest Loser. On Survivor. On Lie to Me. On The Office. And on 24 especially. Oh, and I can't wait to start the new season of Amazing Race. (And American Idol, I have a beef with you. I'd like you to not just include the performances, but also judges comments, please?)

What's that? Amazing Race started already. Oh, but yes - I know this! The even more beautiful thing about internet TV? You can watch the episodes WHENEVER you want! (Except Biggest Loser - they are really annoying because they only post one each week, and take down the last. Which means this puts me on a time table for watching. Annoying.) But for free!

I loved DVR - also giving me the freedom to watch whenever I liked. And of course, I loved the nice big screen TV also. But simplifying our lives has taken on new meaning. And this new meaning includes sacrificing some of the quality of the DVR, but replacing with the almost-as-convenient online shows...for half the price! The beauty of it all...

Except, you see - we were trying to kick this habit. You know, do more things together as a couple that include interaction, exercise, and quality bonding time. And this habit gets in the way because we can't wait to lay in bed with the big screen laptop and catch up on what we've missed.

I had said I wanted to maintain up on current events, but really...I'm not so sure this counts.

Rainy Rainy Blah Blah

I'm home and don't really want to be.

You know that feeling...

Get back from a wonderful trip that is about as opposite from "real life" as you can get. And now here I am. Back to reality, and rainy weather to boot.

I know I shouldn't complain about weather - I live in one of the most gorgeous spots on earth. But I'll whine anyways about it because we're not used to having rain! Yes, even in February! When I left it was even in the low 70's and sunny.

But not now. It chooses to be dreary and ugly, which is how I feel when I get back from vacation. Especially when it's so nice to escape my life and live someone elses reality for awhile.

I guess I need to figure out a way to get back!

Inspirational

I have a friend who I would use one word for: Inspirational.

And I get to see her this weekend. She lives far away, so this is a special treat that is my birthday gift to me!

I cannot even put into words what she is doing in Nicaragua, so I won't really try so much. I will just post a few sentences and link to her amazing adventures in saving the world...well, at least doing what she can in her corner of it.

She is involved in a sustainable development that employs and trains local community members in techniques for sustainable building that has completely transformed the community. Check it out HERE.

She regularly works with a school for special needs children. Check it out HERE.

She regularly helps her friends who have started an organization that runs a transition house for teenage orphans. Check it out HERE.

She is on the board of the volunteer firefighter program. Check it out HERE.

Too much to take in? Just one more, I promise. She is running the music festival this upcoming Monday, which is going to also benefit the community by hopefully generating the funds to create a self-sustainable micro-lending program for locals to start small businesses.

Wow. That is all I have. Well, all I have for now. I get to go work, then pack to get ready. As with any good music festival, I need to prepare some costumes!

Home Alone

Let me preface this post with this: I really do love being home with my husband. There is nothing better than a nice evening at home, with the two of us, quality time.

Now to the real heart of it:

I used to love living alone. My place, my space...my dog...my books...my relaxing zone. But I've never been one to spend much time there. Just every once in awhile when I want to escape. Which was, at most, 1-2 hours a week. The rest of the time, I'm on the go - hiking, biking, socializing, swimming, running, jumping (ok, not really jumping...you get the picture).

Now fast forward to married life. We both live in (formerly)my super small house, with two super sized dogs. Which most of the time, I'm completely fine with.

Except for the fact that I can count on one hand (actually - two fingers) - the number of times I've been home alone. Yep, TWO. We've been married 15 months. I repeat for effect - alone TWO times!

My husband is just a 'home' person. He'd rather be there than hiking, biking, or doing any other activity that you might find me engaging in at any time that I'm not working. He could be happy staying there for a number of days on end. (And sidenote - in his unemployment, IS doing just that). And while I love that he is home most of the time, with open arms to welcome me, I have to admit that those few, few times that I get some 'home-alone' time there, I am just in love with it.

One of those times was last night, and I'm still on a natural high from it! (Nothing like a little deprivation to make you appreciate something). He has decided to take a class, so this not only happened last night, but will happen once a week for the next 4 months! If I do basic math correctly (which I should, as it is my profession), this equates to approximately 16 evenings that I have to enjoy this time. Yay!

So, I have set some basic (this is debatable) goals for myself in this time:

1. Learn Spanish (didn't say I wasn't ambitious!) - I now have Rosetta Stone, so I'm thinking this should take me...what, 3 evenings? ;)

2. Study for the MCAT. This could be a whole new post, but I'm toying with changing careers to something that is more fitting to me than an engineer. So I'm thinking a Doctor. Never too late to learn something new ;) (maybe I need even more luck for this one)

3. Learn to use less parenthesis in my writing. (...I didn't say this one would be easy either!)

Just a little bit

OK, I hate to complain, but...

(Isn't that a funny phrase. People use that all the time. I hate to ...(insert action that you are about to do here)...then promptly negate all use of the word 'hate', by inserting a 'but' and proceeding to actually participate in whatever you supposedly 'hate')

So, anyways. Here I go, being a hypocrit and complaining...

I'm tired of my knee & toe hurting. There, I said it. I complained. Phew. It's off my shoulders.

I don't want to write about boring things, and reduce the even small number of people who happen to swing by...and I'm just under the assumption that my own knee and toe pain is one of those things that would not exactly be the most enticing piece of news out there on the internet.

But (there I go again), people - it hurts! My knee! My toe! Ouch! I used to do triathlons, and be fairly competetive at them actually! And I haven't run in OVER TWO YEARS! I just realized this fact on the New Year when I realized Jesse & I were celebrating two years together. Two years when I have, in fact, not run. Over a half mile, that is...which I'm pretty sure nothing under 2 miles or so counts as a "run" anyways.

And now it has not only spread to running, but to wearing heels. And that is when I say - enough is enough. I must fix this. So, probably five or six doctor's appointments later, here I am. Not much better off than I was, except for having seen five or six new doctors.

And still no running. Or heels. In fact, they've come up with the brilliant idea to take "three weeks off, and see how it is".

Ummm...did I mention that I've taken TWO YEARS OFF. And ANOTHER THREE WEEKS isn't going to do jack for helping me out? Do you think they listen?

Ugh.

Ok - that wasn't complaining "just a little bit". That was a lot. Sorry. Thanks for letting me vent. And now I'll go ride my bike...again...with no running and no heels...yet.

On Exercise...

The "experts" all say that it takes two weeks before you start losing muscle mass.

These same "experts" also say that it takes half the time to build up the mass you lost once you start working out again compared to someone who never had the muscle to begin with.

So...does this mean that since I've taken basically a year off from hard exercise that I'm going to take six months to get back in shape?

I wonder if they take into account the fact that I can BARELY MOVE the day after I do anything strenuous whatsoever?

And...finally...why in the world did I workout ALL WEEKEND in the gorgeous weather, eating healthy, and weighing myself this morning only to find I've GAINED 3 pounds? This is all seemingly pointing to halting the whole Operation Fit-Again-In-09.

I'm about to abort mission, people. Help me out.

GORGEOUS

It's absolutely beautiful out and reminding me why I live in one of the most desirable (ie. expensive) places on earth.

So far today, I have...

* walked to pick up a chai and muffin this morning and got a tan doing it! (albeit an 'office worker' tan...but whatever)

* went to lunch at my mentor's house and sat outside by her pool in her gorgeous backyard

* am changing clothes to go run stadiums at the college overlooking the beach

* planned BBQing with friends for the evening

* set up hiking with the girls tomorrow afternoon, after an ocean swim (or surf if it's nice) in the morning!

I am so, so blessed.

Maybe Someday...

...I'll ACTUALLY be better at this 'marriage' thing, rather than thinking I am one day, and flat out stinking the next.

...I'll get tired of hiking with my dogs - but no time soon.

...I'll actually decide to listen to my Rosetta Stone and follow-through with my goal of learning Spanish.

...I'll follow my heart on a real career that is also a passion.

...I'll be not just happy, but content, with an entire day.

I'm leaving, on a jet plane...

but I know when I'll be back again!

Yay. Going to Rome. In two days. With my hubby. Who, by the way, has been really awesome lately. Maybe it's Christmas, or maybe it's the upcoming New Year, but I have so much to be thankful for, and so much hope for this next year.

Merry Christmas! Or...Buon Natale!

On Fire

When you lose everything, you come to find out that it wasn't really everything.

- A semi-direct quote from church yesterday after the devastating fires in our community, in which there are more than a few families who really have lost everything.

Although I know there are really, really tough times ahead for many of these families and individuals...I also know it has been comforting to see a community gather around and display an amazing amount of generosity and love to those affected by the situation. It reminds me that people are genuinely good hearted and giving.

I also think that when a situation is in our backyard, our first response is to give and help in any way we can. When these are the faces of people we know - it is our first instinct to love. And give open-handed and open-hearted. And that is incredibly encouraging.

Need/Want

I haven't shopped in ages. It's because now that I'm married I'm broke.

Don't get me started on why...it just amazes me how TWO incomes are LESS than one. Despite simple math, people, it is true. How, I don't know. But it is.

So, long story slightly shorter, I haven't shopped in a long, long time. And today I have the urge.

It started when thinking of the Christmas party and how I probably should wear a black dress I have, then went on as a stream of consciousness: how about that little black dress, and what shoes? Well, I have a few. But they all hurt. Especially now that my big toe is injured. I know, very Shaq-like. I'll probably look Shaq-like huge in that dress if I wear flat shoes. Better not go there. What shoes do I have that I like? Oh, those brown ones. Those are cute, and lower heeled, and I've only worn them ONCE! Do I have a brown dress? No. Well, yes, but it's too formal. I'd sure LOVE to shop for a cute, flattering, brown dress. I could save money by just using shoes I have (avoid thinking of the dress cost). I'll just get a simple, affordable, classy chocolate brown dress. And makeup. Natural colored brown makeup....

And so it goes. Pray I resist the shopping. And the internet.

Against My Better Judgement

I have gone and done it.

Gone and done something I never thought I'd do...or try...or get hooked on...or be into in any way, shape, or form.

And it's called golf. G.O.L.F., people. Who knew? Who knew I'd actually like that silly sport? Actually, let me rephrase. Not sport, game. I do intend to hold that it is a game, not a sport. I don't sweat while playing (unless it's weather-related rather than activity-related), and while it is difficult and requires much skill...there are highly skilled, un-athletic people out there participating. Kind of like poker on ESPN. Just because a sports channel covers it does not make it a sport; game is still the category. But a conversation for another day, another time.

Right now I'm still amazed and focussed on the fact that I have now played multiple times...and LIKED it. So many times that we just bought me new clubs because the husband's are too heavy. My own clubs (they were on sale). For golf! Seriously. What has the world come to?

I have to say though. I love being outside, with friends, having a beverage or two, all while golfing!

What's it gonna be next? Lawn bowling? Who knows.

Our New Puppy

New Family

While everyone around me seems to be popping out the kiddies, we have a new addition of our own to announce!

No babies! But a puppy!

We now are the proud parents of a new little lab baby boy. He's 7 weeks and oh-so-adorable. We bring him home tomorrow, so I'll try to take pics and post.

Today's Rant

OK.

Last week it was hitting contaminated material and having to have all of my crews in respirators and Tyveks. The week before it was not having the right-of-entries for the properties that we are BUILDING THE PROJECT ON.

This week? Picketing.

Yes, picketing. We had to call the cops to have the people moved because it was a safety hazard.

Now I'm not going to go into the whole union worker issue here because I just don't do that publicly. However, I will go into this. We are trying to get a job done that will help the community. I am building a sewer, for goodness sakes. A MUCH NEEDED sewer, at that. If we don't build it, I imagine that you will have many more problems in the community then PICKETING a contractor who is just trying to build. He is a union contractor. He pays prevailing wage. Just because you draw your 'this union/that union' line in the middle of freaking town, DOES NOT mean that he should not be able to work here. Or to give you the right to make all of our innocent, law-abding, lives miserable, causing double the work, for this entire job.

If the two unions need to have a pissing match, can you please just do it at your hall or something? Picket there? Please?

Advice

If there were any men who read this blog, I would give them some friendly words of advice:

Do NOT, under any circumstance, EVER challenge their women to actually be crazy.

Tip: We ALL are crazy. In our own little ways, all different, yet ALL crazy. Yes, I said CRAZY. You can disguise crazy with synonyms like passionate, lively, full of personality. Yet it all comes back to the same thing. C.R.A.Z.Y.

So. When you are discussing an issue in the relationship, and you happen to ask for 'patience' or 'understanding' or 'tolerance', please, please, please remember that if she is sane at the moment, and merely raising her voice, she is most likely ALREADY giving you these things. If she were actually being impatient or lacking tolerance, she would be showing you CRAZY.

And it would be very, very wise to not ask to see what it would look like should she NOT be giving you patience and/or tolerance. Because you do not need to ever see what The Crazy looks like. Never. Ever.

Just some friendly advice from someone whose husband probably would have appreciated it prior to this morning.